Tuesday, September 8, 2009

And now I am a ... what?

I was a clown in a touring youth circus, I've written a joke book, I own a beautiful leather motor-bike jacket I bought in Chapel St and no motorbike, I married an Italian writer, I can cook a tastier pasta sauce than any of her relatives, I buy, read and enjoy car magazines, I review young adult books for a specialist magazine published by Melbourne Uni, I can juggle fire, I can hold a conversation in German as long as nobody starts discussing biomechanics, politics or the war (zing!), I can ski, but not surf, I rent, I will listen to industrial hip-hop as soon as The Flight of the Conchords, my dad teaches English in China, my mum teaches everything here, my son could hold his head up by six weeks, my best man is a professional acrobat and physiotherapist, my oldest friend has a big hand in just about everything you see on the ABC, my third oldest friend got married on an iceberg and I can skol a pint of pale no worries.


  1. "I can cook a tastier pasta sauce than any of her relatives"

    In your opinion. It's a good thing nonna can't read and mum doesn't know what a blog is, or you'd be excommunicated.

  2. Franzy, will this sauce-off never end?????

    There are many things to be said about my relatives, but claiming your sauce is better than theirs?

    Sorry. I'm with Dan on this one-you have gone too far!!!!!

    Your sauce is lovely.And while I reckon that the animal-parts bonanza that is my "pig nipple" sauce is pretty good, it ain't Nonna's either.

    Nonna's is the best. Hands dooooown.

    The thing is, you rely on big flavour in your dishes-lots of bacon etc etc. Nonna's is like a very fine whisky-delicate, mature,with fifty years of fine tuning. I think it is too subtle for you to appreciate.

    And yes, I know every Italian child says their Nonna's sauce is the best, but that's because it's true.

  3. Apparently I forgot to add "button-pusher" ...
    (nyuk nyuk nyuk)

  4. Pasta sauce? Recipe please?

    Why are you asking us what you are? You know what you are. In the eyes of your son, you are GOD.
    The opinions of the rest of us don't really matter after that.
    You well-adjusted, well read, well travelled man, you.

  5. 'In the eyes of your son, you are GOD'. Nice one, River.

    It's totally true. I thought Charlie was 'besotted' with Sam, but this was an understatement.

    God comes down from the heavens (the hills of a certain uni) at 5:30 pm every evening, and Charlie's huge 'hazelnut green' coloured eyes light up..

  6. You are now a:

    Very tired man
    In trouble with your wife
    Scorned by your extended family
    Needing to post your pasta sauce recipes up on this blog!

  7. River - It's a simple onion and tomato-based sauce with bacon and a glass of white wine, handed down over generations (two, so far). It's The Best.

    Mele - I'm not the messiah, I'm just a very entertaining dad.

    Kath - Hey - when you cook pasta sauce this good, you don't NEED to worry about trouble from the in-laws.
    Maybe I'll post the receipe. Maybe.


An explanation of The Joy Division Litmus Test

Although it may now be lost in the mysts of thyme, the poll below is still relevant to this blog. In the winter of 2008, Mele and I went to live in Queensland. In order to survive, I bluffed my way into a job at a Coffee Club.
It was quite a reasonable place to work: the hours were regular, the staff were quite nice, it wasn't particularly taxing on my brain.
There were a few downsides: In the six weeks or so that I worked there, there was about a 90% staff turnover (contributed to by my leaving). This wasn't seen as a result of the low pay, the laughability of staff prices or the practice of not distributing tips to staff, rather it was blamed on the lack of work ethic among Bribie Island's youth.
However, one of the stranger aspects of the cultural isolation that touched our lives during our time "up there" was the fact that nobody at my work had heard of the band Joy Division.
The full explanation is available here.
But please, interact a little further and vote in my ongoing poll. The results are slowly mounting up, proving one thing: people read this blog are more well-informed about Joy Division than anyone who works at the Coffee Club on Bribie Island.

Have you heard of the band Joy Division?

Chinese food, not Chinese Internet!

Champions of Guess The Header

  • What is Guess The Header about? Let’s ask regular “Writing” reader, Shippy: "Anyway, after Franzy's stunning September, and having a crack at 'Guess The Header' for the first time - without truly knowing what I was doing mind you - I think I finally understand what 'GTH' is all about. At first I thought you needed to actually know what it was. Don't get me wrong — if you know what it is, it may help you. I now realise that it's more Franzy's way of invoking thought around an image or, more often than not, part of an image. If you dissect slightly the GTH explanatory sentence at the bottom of his blog you come up with this: “The photo is always taken by me and always connects in some way to the topic of the blog entry it heads up.” When the header is put up, the blog below it will in some obscure way have something to do with it. “Interesting comments are judged and scored arbitrarily and the process is open to corruption and bribery with all correspondence being entered into after the fact and on into eternity, ad infinitum amen.” Franzy judges it, but it's not always the GTH that describes the place perfectly that gets it. “The frequent commenters, the wits, the wags and the outright smartarses who, each entry, engage to both guess the origin and relevance of the strip of photo at the top (or “head”) of each new blog and also who leave what I deem the most interesting comment.” It generally helps if you're a complete smartarse and can twist things to mean whatever you feel they should mean - exactly the way Franzy would like things to be twisted." - Shippy Blogger and GTH point scorer.
  • Nai - 1
  • Lion Kinsman - 2
  • Will - 2
  • Brocky - 2
  • Andy Pants - 2
  • The 327th Male - 3
  • Mad Cat Lady - 3
  • Miles McClagen - 4
  • Myninjacockle - 4
  • Asheligh - 5
  • Neil - 5
  • Third Cat - 5
  • Adam Y - 6
  • Squib - 6
  • Mele - 6
  • Moifey - 7
  • Jono - 8
  • The Other, other Sam - 14
  • Kath Lockett - 15
  • Shippy - 19
  • River - 32