Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Along with "Cool Guys Don't Look at Explosions"

Far be it from me to simply re-blog a good line, but this one from an opinion piece (which The Age has apparently re-blogged from The Guardian anway) requires dissemination, praise and envy. Here, the writer is thinking about remakes and shark movies and comparing the near-perfect Jaws with Open Water, which I didn't see because I thought it was about Moses:

"The long and the short of it is: you don't send a bunch of five-metre, slightly-out-of-focus great white sharks to do a humongous eight-metre mechanical shark's job. It's a basic rule of cinema."


  1. Yes, but in the same article they also state that Twister is a great movie, thereby destroying all credibility.

  2. Oh oh. Sure - 'not a great movie'. RIGHT.
    How dare you.
    Who is it directed by? JAN DE BONT. The Hunt for Red October? Lethal Weapon 3? DIE HARD???

    Oh, wait, I have just realised that you probably didn't know that Bill Paxton was also in it, which automatically makes it a great film.

    Apologies accepted.

  3. Twister also has that ridiculous flying cow. I rest my case.

  4. Oh Kath. You are simply adding further rivets to my iron-clad theory that moving from Adelaide to Melbourne robs you of whatever intelligence you may have had regarding what makes a quality movie.
    A flying cow is **ALWAYS** a positive in cinema.

    Your case must be resting because it is long deceased.

  5. Franzy, lovey sweetie lovey, I was adding the FLYING COW, in all it's ridiculous lustrousness, as a positive; IN ADDITION to the guilty, white-bread, down-home, apple-pie pleasure that *is, Mr Bill Paxton.

    Doofus! :)

  6. I'm not sure that I fully understood the positive connotations that your initial charge of 'ridiculous' was supposed to convey.
    I will, however, accept your doofus in good nature and suggest that 'parochial doofus' might even have served you well in this instance.

    Franzy P.D.

  7. I found Twister to be a good movie. The flying cow was a bonus funny bit.

  8. you got me, and teh author was
    Joe Queenan, definitely worth a look.

  9. Andy!
    I have been both blog slack and real life bizz-eh. I shall call this state "Black Rlizzy"!


An explanation of The Joy Division Litmus Test

Although it may now be lost in the mysts of thyme, the poll below is still relevant to this blog. In the winter of 2008, Mele and I went to live in Queensland. In order to survive, I bluffed my way into a job at a Coffee Club.
It was quite a reasonable place to work: the hours were regular, the staff were quite nice, it wasn't particularly taxing on my brain.
There were a few downsides: In the six weeks or so that I worked there, there was about a 90% staff turnover (contributed to by my leaving). This wasn't seen as a result of the low pay, the laughability of staff prices or the practice of not distributing tips to staff, rather it was blamed on the lack of work ethic among Bribie Island's youth.
However, one of the stranger aspects of the cultural isolation that touched our lives during our time "up there" was the fact that nobody at my work had heard of the band Joy Division.
The full explanation is available here.
But please, interact a little further and vote in my ongoing poll. The results are slowly mounting up, proving one thing: people read this blog are more well-informed about Joy Division than anyone who works at the Coffee Club on Bribie Island.

Have you heard of the band Joy Division?

Chinese food, not Chinese Internet!

Champions of Guess The Header

  • What is Guess The Header about? Let’s ask regular “Writing” reader, Shippy: "Anyway, after Franzy's stunning September, and having a crack at 'Guess The Header' for the first time - without truly knowing what I was doing mind you - I think I finally understand what 'GTH' is all about. At first I thought you needed to actually know what it was. Don't get me wrong — if you know what it is, it may help you. I now realise that it's more Franzy's way of invoking thought around an image or, more often than not, part of an image. If you dissect slightly the GTH explanatory sentence at the bottom of his blog you come up with this: “The photo is always taken by me and always connects in some way to the topic of the blog entry it heads up.” When the header is put up, the blog below it will in some obscure way have something to do with it. “Interesting comments are judged and scored arbitrarily and the process is open to corruption and bribery with all correspondence being entered into after the fact and on into eternity, ad infinitum amen.” Franzy judges it, but it's not always the GTH that describes the place perfectly that gets it. “The frequent commenters, the wits, the wags and the outright smartarses who, each entry, engage to both guess the origin and relevance of the strip of photo at the top (or “head”) of each new blog and also who leave what I deem the most interesting comment.” It generally helps if you're a complete smartarse and can twist things to mean whatever you feel they should mean - exactly the way Franzy would like things to be twisted." - Shippy Blogger and GTH point scorer.
  • Nai - 1
  • Lion Kinsman - 2
  • Will - 2
  • Brocky - 2
  • Andy Pants - 2
  • The 327th Male - 3
  • Mad Cat Lady - 3
  • Miles McClagen - 4
  • Myninjacockle - 4
  • Asheligh - 5
  • Neil - 5
  • Third Cat - 5
  • Adam Y - 6
  • Squib - 6
  • Mele - 6
  • Moifey - 7
  • Jono - 8
  • The Other, other Sam - 14
  • Kath Lockett - 15
  • Shippy - 19
  • River - 32