Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Live fresh cheap super easy

I'm probably the only person in the world who reads spam, let alone examines it thoroughly. I once received a spam from a character in my Masters novel. I had been busy editing her all day and when I decided that she had had enough, I opened my inbox only to find a saucy little missive from someone I knew as a professional woman, single mother and faded lady of the seventies offering me cheap drugs.

Today I was lucky enough to receive an offer of a free university degree. Ten years too late! But seriously, I must share a few choice quotes:

These days buying a degree is a matter of personal motivation."
I had assumed that it was the opposite, but what do I know?

For example, if you live near a College which only offers renowned marketing degree, then this doesn't help you a bit if you're looking for a marketing degree."
Again, I find myself very much in the dark as to exactly where one gets a marketing degree if not from a college offering renowned degrees.

... it might be that the degree that you want is only offered by a institution which costs a fortune. So you have to leave your place, look for accommodation in the University's place and do all the other stuff involved costing you tons of cheeze. "
No wonder we're all in such deep financial shit. We've been sinking our money into bonds and real estate while squandering all our treated diary products by smearing them on bikkies.

Having a University degree is very important these days, and as always in life you should only stick with something you want."
I'm assuming here that the "something you want"
with your fake Uni degree is unemployment and perhaps a little civil action and possibly a smidgeon of gaol time. I wonder how long after the shit hit the fan, the planes hit the ground and the heart monitors hit zero would your fellow workmates start asking you some more probing questions about where you learned to do a transplant without even having to wash your hands first?

Beware choosing to be something just because it was the only good degree your local institution offered. After all, you are only going to be good at your job if you like to do it. Thus, you have to get a degree that means something to you."
Although it is spam, this is the best advice I've had in a while. It speaks to passion for education in a person's soul and against the restrictions wealth and class can place upon that passion. Tally-ho. Tally-ho for spammers!

GTH - Shippy and River for giving it a red-hot go. None to Moifey because he was there when I took the picture.
My suggestion: "There's nothing casual about casualty, motherfucker."


  1. "Having a University degree is important these days..."
    Not true.
    Well, not for me anyway.
    Look at how many people have earned (legitimate) degrees in their chosen field but can't find work because the employment market is flooded with their peers who also have the same degrees, so they end up flipping burgers at Maccas or making "designer" coffees in tiny little cafes.

  2. Yeah 'ouch' for me too. I'm seriously thinking about delivering our local community newspaper.

    Although if you send me that spam, I might just sign up - if they take payment in chocolate fingers and good intentions.

    GTH - playing with your own, ahem 'Spam flange' ?

  3. GTH - Franzy displaying an enormous lack of personal motivation.

  4. GTH: A typical uni student - hand in the pocket searching for money - the pocket with a hole in it - hence no money - why would you want to get a fake degree when you can go through all this..?

    Well that's my opinion of a uni student - that's what I was like for at least two years of uni.

    I kind of agree with River, well about the having of a university degree being important. I'm more than sure there's a lot of people out there that have made a great career without reading since they turned 15.

  5. Yeah, I'm going to encourage my kid to take up a trade instead. Plumbers, sparkies and chippies out there are in high demand and are the success stories in our society these days.

    ....just a shame that most of them think that the bum-crack and toothless look is what the intelligentsia are going for.

  6. Kath - Yeah, I'm not sure that the value of a uni degree can be measured by the job you do afterwards.

    ps. "Spam flange" WTF?!?

    River - And a tendency towards Sri Lankanism ...

    Shippy - That's what you're like now. Except when you get a hockey stick in your hand. Then you become even more lethargic.

    Kath - It's always a shame that success only equals money.

  7. well a BA and five dollars will get you a designer coffee in a tiny cafe.

    Do we even need fake degrees? I have a mate who has done quite well just pretending to have a degree.

  8. Unless you live on Bribie Island. Turns out they like a post-grad qualification behind the San Marino Steam Machine.
    As opposed to in front of it.
    Or managing the place.

  9. All depends on your degree. I've got two of em, and in both cases they led me to jobs that would have been impossible without them (both).

    I'n my case, those 2 degrees give me so much knowledge about so many things that in pretty much every job I've had, I'm the only one capable of doing them - because I know where to go digging to learn what I need to do the job :)

    Your education is only the start, from there you need to be learning every day. The trouble with not knowing what you don't know - is that you don't know what you don't know. (yes this is a bit Dick Cheney) And that not knowing cuts you off from many opportunities.

    A real degree, with lots of real learning, has immense power. If used wisely.

    GTH: The preferred mode of study for many students. The "pocket billiards" is a bit of a worry though.

  10. I agree with Ashleigh that education is only the beginning, that one must keep learning, also one must know where to go digging to learn what you need to know to do the job. This is the sort of thing I've never known. Even when I've asked for information from people who know more than me I've frequently been told to "just get on with my work", or "we'll tell you what/when you need to know", and other similar messages designed to keep me in ignorance. After many years of this kind of treatment, I did in fact learn to shut up, look down and get on with the job. Now that I'm in a job I don't enjoy, I've been asked several times if I wanted to train to be a supervisor. I've said no everytime. I've seen the long hours and responsibility required and I know that I'm no longer capable of putting in that kind of effort. Physically at least.

  11. Ah yes, the long hours, stress and responsibility of being in a higher position. Not the executives on the gross-silly salaries, just going up the pile a bit. The money is not worth the hassles - believe me.

    when you take into account the 2-3 hours / day of unpaid extra work, the OH&S responsibility you pick up (a PERSONAL legal liability) for no extra $ from your employer, and the fun of being in the middle getting yelled at from one side and having to translate that into yelling at somebody else... I really don't think its worth it.

    Learning things is fun. Doing interesting things where you break new ground, is fun. Being promoted to take hassles because of the fun you had, is not fun.

    The University education helps you to keep learning and to have fun. What you do with that and the chances you get and the changes you make are entirely up to you.

  12. So much negativity. Hassles, hassles, hassles...

    Sure some people can't handle hard work, and others enjoy the excitement that a new position and new responsibilities entail. I think saying it's not worth the hassle, depends on the person in general.

    I'm not planning on climbing the corporate ladder anytime soon, so I will take and distribute any confrontations that come towards me in the next while. I have noticed though that different positions have different types of stress, the trick is knowing how to handle it - life goes on, get on with it, it wont wait for you.


An explanation of The Joy Division Litmus Test

Although it may now be lost in the mysts of thyme, the poll below is still relevant to this blog. In the winter of 2008, Mele and I went to live in Queensland. In order to survive, I bluffed my way into a job at a Coffee Club.
It was quite a reasonable place to work: the hours were regular, the staff were quite nice, it wasn't particularly taxing on my brain.
There were a few downsides: In the six weeks or so that I worked there, there was about a 90% staff turnover (contributed to by my leaving). This wasn't seen as a result of the low pay, the laughability of staff prices or the practice of not distributing tips to staff, rather it was blamed on the lack of work ethic among Bribie Island's youth.
However, one of the stranger aspects of the cultural isolation that touched our lives during our time "up there" was the fact that nobody at my work had heard of the band Joy Division.
The full explanation is available here.
But please, interact a little further and vote in my ongoing poll. The results are slowly mounting up, proving one thing: people read this blog are more well-informed about Joy Division than anyone who works at the Coffee Club on Bribie Island.

Have you heard of the band Joy Division?

Chinese food, not Chinese Internet!

Champions of Guess The Header

  • What is Guess The Header about? Let’s ask regular “Writing” reader, Shippy: "Anyway, after Franzy's stunning September, and having a crack at 'Guess The Header' for the first time - without truly knowing what I was doing mind you - I think I finally understand what 'GTH' is all about. At first I thought you needed to actually know what it was. Don't get me wrong — if you know what it is, it may help you. I now realise that it's more Franzy's way of invoking thought around an image or, more often than not, part of an image. If you dissect slightly the GTH explanatory sentence at the bottom of his blog you come up with this: “The photo is always taken by me and always connects in some way to the topic of the blog entry it heads up.” When the header is put up, the blog below it will in some obscure way have something to do with it. “Interesting comments are judged and scored arbitrarily and the process is open to corruption and bribery with all correspondence being entered into after the fact and on into eternity, ad infinitum amen.” Franzy judges it, but it's not always the GTH that describes the place perfectly that gets it. “The frequent commenters, the wits, the wags and the outright smartarses who, each entry, engage to both guess the origin and relevance of the strip of photo at the top (or “head”) of each new blog and also who leave what I deem the most interesting comment.” It generally helps if you're a complete smartarse and can twist things to mean whatever you feel they should mean - exactly the way Franzy would like things to be twisted." - Shippy Blogger and GTH point scorer.
  • Nai - 1
  • Lion Kinsman - 2
  • Will - 2
  • Brocky - 2
  • Andy Pants - 2
  • The 327th Male - 3
  • Mad Cat Lady - 3
  • Miles McClagen - 4
  • Myninjacockle - 4
  • Asheligh - 5
  • Neil - 5
  • Third Cat - 5
  • Adam Y - 6
  • Squib - 6
  • Mele - 6
  • Moifey - 7
  • Jono - 8
  • The Other, other Sam - 14
  • Kath Lockett - 15
  • Shippy - 19
  • River - 32