Sunday, March 22, 2009

Join the club

I guess you become an officially-sanctioned member of the Great Club of Parents the first time your own child shits in your eye.

GTH - Drinks are on the house!


  1. i thought it was the vomiting in the mouth - but shitting in eye is ... no that's just bizzare - WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING WITH THAT POOR BABY!!!!!

  2. Damn it! I guess Now Charlie is going to expect me to pay up on that bet.

  3. My mother told me a story about a certain baby needing a nappie change, so it being done in the back of a friends car. Anyway, when the nappie was removed a nice squirt came out and hit the roof - friends saw the funny side.

    She also mentioned a certain boy peeing in his own eye while she was changing him - she couldn't figure out why he was blinking away.

    GTH: I can only suggest that the reminents of grapes - turning into sultanas reminded Franzy of the sloppy mess that he scraped from his eye!

  4. MCL - Nothing out of the ordinary: blinking, swearing, reaching for the pink-eye medication while he kicks his strong little legs in the International I Just Zinged You In The Eyeball Foo' Dance ...

    TooS - I guess he will. Daddy will look after that $100 for him until he's old enough ...

    Shippy -
    I can top that.

  5. Well Franzy, shit in the eye and eating the doggie version as a kid is kind of a twisted comeback, dontcha think?

    Never experienced either, but had vomit in my eyes, mouth and ears as Sapphire was one of those 'Funniest Home Video' nuclear chuckers that never gave advance notice....

  6. Gold - yep, never got the chance to do that one.

    Many a childhood story on the farm - but definitely nothing quite like that!

  7. Gold - yep, never got the chance to do that one.

    Many a childhood story on the farm - but definitely nothing quite like that!

  8. I've been peed on by many a baby, but shit in the eye? Never. On my lap once or twice though....

    GTH. peas and pita bread decomposing in the compost.

  9. I have only been peed and chucked on and am quite comfortable with my position in the mediocre club of parents.


An explanation of The Joy Division Litmus Test

Although it may now be lost in the mysts of thyme, the poll below is still relevant to this blog. In the winter of 2008, Mele and I went to live in Queensland. In order to survive, I bluffed my way into a job at a Coffee Club.
It was quite a reasonable place to work: the hours were regular, the staff were quite nice, it wasn't particularly taxing on my brain.
There were a few downsides: In the six weeks or so that I worked there, there was about a 90% staff turnover (contributed to by my leaving). This wasn't seen as a result of the low pay, the laughability of staff prices or the practice of not distributing tips to staff, rather it was blamed on the lack of work ethic among Bribie Island's youth.
However, one of the stranger aspects of the cultural isolation that touched our lives during our time "up there" was the fact that nobody at my work had heard of the band Joy Division.
The full explanation is available here.
But please, interact a little further and vote in my ongoing poll. The results are slowly mounting up, proving one thing: people read this blog are more well-informed about Joy Division than anyone who works at the Coffee Club on Bribie Island.

Have you heard of the band Joy Division?

Chinese food, not Chinese Internet!

Champions of Guess The Header

  • What is Guess The Header about? Let’s ask regular “Writing” reader, Shippy: "Anyway, after Franzy's stunning September, and having a crack at 'Guess The Header' for the first time - without truly knowing what I was doing mind you - I think I finally understand what 'GTH' is all about. At first I thought you needed to actually know what it was. Don't get me wrong — if you know what it is, it may help you. I now realise that it's more Franzy's way of invoking thought around an image or, more often than not, part of an image. If you dissect slightly the GTH explanatory sentence at the bottom of his blog you come up with this: “The photo is always taken by me and always connects in some way to the topic of the blog entry it heads up.” When the header is put up, the blog below it will in some obscure way have something to do with it. “Interesting comments are judged and scored arbitrarily and the process is open to corruption and bribery with all correspondence being entered into after the fact and on into eternity, ad infinitum amen.” Franzy judges it, but it's not always the GTH that describes the place perfectly that gets it. “The frequent commenters, the wits, the wags and the outright smartarses who, each entry, engage to both guess the origin and relevance of the strip of photo at the top (or “head”) of each new blog and also who leave what I deem the most interesting comment.” It generally helps if you're a complete smartarse and can twist things to mean whatever you feel they should mean - exactly the way Franzy would like things to be twisted." - Shippy Blogger and GTH point scorer.
  • Nai - 1
  • Lion Kinsman - 2
  • Will - 2
  • Brocky - 2
  • Andy Pants - 2
  • The 327th Male - 3
  • Mad Cat Lady - 3
  • Miles McClagen - 4
  • Myninjacockle - 4
  • Asheligh - 5
  • Neil - 5
  • Third Cat - 5
  • Adam Y - 6
  • Squib - 6
  • Mele - 6
  • Moifey - 7
  • Jono - 8
  • The Other, other Sam - 14
  • Kath Lockett - 15
  • Shippy - 19
  • River - 32