Thursday, January 29, 2009

Just don't ask where the rest of the gold comes from

It's analogy Friday!

Roger Federer is the rat poison of tennis. You know exactly what's going to happen every single time an opponent is met; rat or top-ten seed. The rat poison wins. It's boring. No one sits around watching rat poison.
What I want to see is the rat who eats the poison for breakfast and walks away laughing.


Is anyone else living in Adelaide, quietly, in the back of their minds, barracking for the heat? Come on! Break 46 degrees! Go!
Even on a day with a top of 43, after a 45 degree day, it just seems a bit ... second rate.
Pf. You shoulda been here yesterday. I saw a dog explode.

GTH - I haven't forgotten. Oh no. The Other, other Sam wins with his link mightier than his sword.


  1. Pick up those gorgeous peaches - it's a crime not to eat them! (or stew or freeze them).

    You knew that your 'rat poison' analogy was going to cause some old dogs to bark, didn't you? I *love* the guy. NO-ONE can play like he can. He is brilliant, clever, calmly cool and devasting to watch. I'm hoping for the standard Nadal v Federer match so that we'll get a top five setter.

    So there.

  2. Yeah, good ol' heat. My hot water service exploded - another bill to add to the piles required for a new house owner - damn you fate/Moifey.

    I don't know I think the wedgie tugging Nadal has a good chance (see link). However, I do enjoy a great analogy, so I'll take that rat poison analogy and run with it. Pete Sampras wasn't much different in the day. At least the ones that suffer the same fate of winning all their matches don't seem to be the embarrassingly obvious obnoxiously arrogant players.

  3. Kath - I'm sorry, I can only go 'Wow' for about two games before I start falling asleep. You know how football fans don't like knowing the end result before they sit down to watch a recording of their team's match?
    Same thing. When Federer plays you know who's going to win, and how. So what's the point in watching? I hate seeing all these top-ten players flopping about like Under-12 wash-outs: embarrassed, tired, clueless and demoralised. I want to see competition, not slaughter. You know when Australia plays Bangladesh and you feel terrible for them?
    And another thing (I'm into it now eh?), last year when Tsonga finally knocked him out, he gave the worst, most sour-grapes press conference I've ever seen:
    "He was just lucky, I was having a bad game, even the best players can't win all the time, bitch bitch bitch whinge whinge."
    He gave Tsonga zero credit for playing the game of his life and beating the most dominant player of recent times.
    When he was embarrassing Del Pottro a couple of nights ago, he head-butted a ball back over the net that his unfortunate, demoralised opponent had just put out of play. That's not funny, that's not sportsmanship - that's mockery, that's cheek.
    He's a spoilt, tedious brat and the only reason I'd watch a full match is to see him get beaten to a pulp.

    So there!

    Shippy - It's not like you'll be needing your hot water for the next week or so!

  4. Barracking for the heat??? Are you crazy???

  5. I went off him when he couldn't make winning a cow (one of comedies truly great animals) for winning Wimbledon interesting...

    Alas, I come from a country where we our #1 tennis player is a loser, and just as boring...Forza Murray!

  6. Well, he didn't walk away laughing. but he did APOLOGISE for winning !!???

    If you beat someone in 5 sets (the third five setter you've played in 3 days; in 40+ degree heat) Why should you apologise for winning?

    would have been more appropriate.

  7. That was the weirdest presentation ceremony I've ever seen.

    "We love Roger, we wish he'd won, I wish he was my best mate, boo hoo hoo, anyway, on to the winner, sort of, he's not Roger ..."

    I thought Nadal had a great subtext going on:
    "It was a great game, great crowd, I'm sorry I had to beat you, but I always enjoy playing you, Roger" (SUBTEXT: ... because I whip the shit out of your pouty Swiss arse every single time!"

  8. GTH: Peaches that were ruined by a friendly yet somewhat hungry rat. One year Franzy decided to poison the rat, and before he realised it, the peaches were ready to eat, but Franzy couldn't keep up and he realised that although the rat ate his share of peaches, there was always enough for Franzy. So by poisoning the rat, it meant that the rat's share inevitably ended up on the ground wasting into a gooey mess.

  9. Moral of the story:

    No matter how bad the situation is, there may always be a worse situation. Especially when rat poison is involved.

  10. I agree with shippy, rat poison is rarely the answer. Peach trees that are more than about 5 years old usually produce an abundance of fruit, more than enough for the homeowner, the rats and a few parrots. The trick is to tie netting or paper bags over the branches that have your selected fruit and leave the rest open for our feathered and furry "friends"

  11. Re the heat... it sure was horrible but there was a certain amount of "more more" just so we can say with pride (in best 4 Yorkshiremen style) "we had it worse than you...".

    Seeing as sport is as exciting as watching paint dry I have no idea what you are on about with the tennis players.

    GTH though is a metaphor: everything is peachy in the land of franzy. So things must be going well...

  12. ...I still love Roger anyway.

    So double THERE!

  13. "Roger Federer is the rat poison of tennis."

    I'm having that put on a shirt as a slogan to wear at Wimbledon this year.

    Alas our Murry be a rat.


An explanation of The Joy Division Litmus Test

Although it may now be lost in the mysts of thyme, the poll below is still relevant to this blog. In the winter of 2008, Mele and I went to live in Queensland. In order to survive, I bluffed my way into a job at a Coffee Club.
It was quite a reasonable place to work: the hours were regular, the staff were quite nice, it wasn't particularly taxing on my brain.
There were a few downsides: In the six weeks or so that I worked there, there was about a 90% staff turnover (contributed to by my leaving). This wasn't seen as a result of the low pay, the laughability of staff prices or the practice of not distributing tips to staff, rather it was blamed on the lack of work ethic among Bribie Island's youth.
However, one of the stranger aspects of the cultural isolation that touched our lives during our time "up there" was the fact that nobody at my work had heard of the band Joy Division.
The full explanation is available here.
But please, interact a little further and vote in my ongoing poll. The results are slowly mounting up, proving one thing: people read this blog are more well-informed about Joy Division than anyone who works at the Coffee Club on Bribie Island.

Have you heard of the band Joy Division?

Chinese food, not Chinese Internet!

Champions of Guess The Header

  • What is Guess The Header about? Let’s ask regular “Writing” reader, Shippy: "Anyway, after Franzy's stunning September, and having a crack at 'Guess The Header' for the first time - without truly knowing what I was doing mind you - I think I finally understand what 'GTH' is all about. At first I thought you needed to actually know what it was. Don't get me wrong — if you know what it is, it may help you. I now realise that it's more Franzy's way of invoking thought around an image or, more often than not, part of an image. If you dissect slightly the GTH explanatory sentence at the bottom of his blog you come up with this: “The photo is always taken by me and always connects in some way to the topic of the blog entry it heads up.” When the header is put up, the blog below it will in some obscure way have something to do with it. “Interesting comments are judged and scored arbitrarily and the process is open to corruption and bribery with all correspondence being entered into after the fact and on into eternity, ad infinitum amen.” Franzy judges it, but it's not always the GTH that describes the place perfectly that gets it. “The frequent commenters, the wits, the wags and the outright smartarses who, each entry, engage to both guess the origin and relevance of the strip of photo at the top (or “head”) of each new blog and also who leave what I deem the most interesting comment.” It generally helps if you're a complete smartarse and can twist things to mean whatever you feel they should mean - exactly the way Franzy would like things to be twisted." - Shippy Blogger and GTH point scorer.
  • Nai - 1
  • Lion Kinsman - 2
  • Will - 2
  • Brocky - 2
  • Andy Pants - 2
  • The 327th Male - 3
  • Mad Cat Lady - 3
  • Miles McClagen - 4
  • Myninjacockle - 4
  • Asheligh - 5
  • Neil - 5
  • Third Cat - 5
  • Adam Y - 6
  • Squib - 6
  • Mele - 6
  • Moifey - 7
  • Jono - 8
  • The Other, other Sam - 14
  • Kath Lockett - 15
  • Shippy - 19
  • River - 32