Sunday, January 11, 2009

And breathe!

Got job, moved house, all airy and bright, reading not much, planted first garden, but stealing internet from friends until the new connection kicks in. Until then ... patience my pretties.

I was looking at the bamboo in my new backyard the other day and pondering how strong it was. How a pile of cells all evolved and grew into this utterly useful material. Then it struck me: all philosophy is useless.

I have decided to lay down some blogging rules for 2009. I'm not sure what they are, or how I shall abuse myself if they are broken, but rule one is:

More non-personal-life
I'm obviously a person who considers philosophy useless, so I must have something more interesting to report than the purchase of my first video game console. Unless there are my thoughts on the subject.

More stories
Which already breaks my first rule. I've become more obsessed with the proper way to tell a good story as I've studying writing and those who know me and read my blog are probably quite well-acquainted with my impoliteness and impatience with poor story-telling.

Shorter blogs


  1. But blogging is all about narcissism! Love me love me!

    Unless of course you actually want people to read it.

  2. Wow you've been busy! Working, moving, planting gardens, all while contemplating philosophy and how life evolves from tiny little cells. No wonder you haven't been blogging. Oh, and that whole no internet connection as well...
    What are those cute little bugs in the header? Those busy, busy, busy, little bugs. Representing frantically busy Franzy, of course.

  3. Ah, moving house, it must be that time of the year - as I also am - good ol' 41 degrees house moving - that's going to suck.

    The trouble with writing not about non-personal-life is that you can't explain to some people why you find things funny. You can't say I found this funny because when I was a little kid... There's also the fact that the GTH then becomes harder to guess by the people that know nothing about your complete and utter freaky behaviours.

    I was rather surprised that you hadn't blogged over the Christmas/NY period, after returning from my adventure (photos will become apparent) only to look for some release from work and finding nothing until now (that was nearly nine hours lost). I don't know if I can forgive you for this one Franger.

    P.s. feel free to help me move, as I believe you have a lot of practice at it.

  4. I share Shippy's sentiments;
    I also discovered an un-welcome burst of job-related productivity in your extended absence.
    DO IT

    (Happy NY)

  5. Guess the Header: Bugs popping bubble wrap

  6. GTH: you're pregnant?

    I am not sure how I feel about this 'shorter blogs' business - but your single sentence september was AWESOME, so I shall withhold judgement.

    How about we come up with the penalties? I saw the hosts of Toasted TV trying to drink a blended mixture of water, garlic, milk, honey and weetbix yesterday (or possibly the day before) and I reckon I could come up with something better.

    The other other Sam would probably come up with something betterer though.

    I move TOOS should come up with penalties for transgressions, because upon reflection mine would be lame and probably involve bidding you dressing up as "someone/thing" and posting a picture of it on your blog.

  7. I totally agree with the shorter blogs one. I never liked seeing the huge slabs of endless text. I just ended up skimming over it.

    Then again, the last time I read a book by my own will was 3 years ago.

    On the other hand, ...again... that's my opinion.

  8. Thanks Mad Cat, I'm honoured.
    But ever since Water-boarding was declared cruel and unusual I lost all interest in setting punishments for transgressions.

  9. TOOS: No link? I'm disappointed. Not the start I was looking for in 09, too much change.

    Write on Franzy. I'm not one to complain about endless droning on about how you accidentally put your left shoe on the right foot. Although, I would find it hard to consider you as highly as I do now in the IQ standings.

  10. 1-2-3-4
    We want you to blog some more!
    Why do you procrastinate?

    (PS: There is no Rhino in the Chinese Zodiac. Coincidence? I think not!)


An explanation of The Joy Division Litmus Test

Although it may now be lost in the mysts of thyme, the poll below is still relevant to this blog. In the winter of 2008, Mele and I went to live in Queensland. In order to survive, I bluffed my way into a job at a Coffee Club.
It was quite a reasonable place to work: the hours were regular, the staff were quite nice, it wasn't particularly taxing on my brain.
There were a few downsides: In the six weeks or so that I worked there, there was about a 90% staff turnover (contributed to by my leaving). This wasn't seen as a result of the low pay, the laughability of staff prices or the practice of not distributing tips to staff, rather it was blamed on the lack of work ethic among Bribie Island's youth.
However, one of the stranger aspects of the cultural isolation that touched our lives during our time "up there" was the fact that nobody at my work had heard of the band Joy Division.
The full explanation is available here.
But please, interact a little further and vote in my ongoing poll. The results are slowly mounting up, proving one thing: people read this blog are more well-informed about Joy Division than anyone who works at the Coffee Club on Bribie Island.

Have you heard of the band Joy Division?

Chinese food, not Chinese Internet!

Champions of Guess The Header

  • What is Guess The Header about? Let’s ask regular “Writing” reader, Shippy: "Anyway, after Franzy's stunning September, and having a crack at 'Guess The Header' for the first time - without truly knowing what I was doing mind you - I think I finally understand what 'GTH' is all about. At first I thought you needed to actually know what it was. Don't get me wrong — if you know what it is, it may help you. I now realise that it's more Franzy's way of invoking thought around an image or, more often than not, part of an image. If you dissect slightly the GTH explanatory sentence at the bottom of his blog you come up with this: “The photo is always taken by me and always connects in some way to the topic of the blog entry it heads up.” When the header is put up, the blog below it will in some obscure way have something to do with it. “Interesting comments are judged and scored arbitrarily and the process is open to corruption and bribery with all correspondence being entered into after the fact and on into eternity, ad infinitum amen.” Franzy judges it, but it's not always the GTH that describes the place perfectly that gets it. “The frequent commenters, the wits, the wags and the outright smartarses who, each entry, engage to both guess the origin and relevance of the strip of photo at the top (or “head”) of each new blog and also who leave what I deem the most interesting comment.” It generally helps if you're a complete smartarse and can twist things to mean whatever you feel they should mean - exactly the way Franzy would like things to be twisted." - Shippy Blogger and GTH point scorer.
  • Nai - 1
  • Lion Kinsman - 2
  • Will - 2
  • Brocky - 2
  • Andy Pants - 2
  • The 327th Male - 3
  • Mad Cat Lady - 3
  • Miles McClagen - 4
  • Myninjacockle - 4
  • Asheligh - 5
  • Neil - 5
  • Third Cat - 5
  • Adam Y - 6
  • Squib - 6
  • Mele - 6
  • Moifey - 7
  • Jono - 8
  • The Other, other Sam - 14
  • Kath Lockett - 15
  • Shippy - 19
  • River - 32