Thursday, September 4, 2008

Men leave the toilet seat up because women leave the toilet seat down.


  1. Toilet seats are like a picture frame for your poo.

  2. I believe very strongly that toilet seats should be left down because men can either sit or stand but women can only sit and therefore sitting wins

  3. Shippy - Confucius say premature comparison result in long month of regret.

    Squib - But women can stand and pee at the same time!

  4. Yeah, it's tough. Even with years of practise, I still sprinkle a bit.

  5. Ah Franzy, methinks you've expressed this sentiment (and I'm not talking about your drops, or signing your name) before???

  6. Me thinks you're right! An observation worth making though, yeah?

  7. I've often wondered why we men have to remember to put the toilet seat down. why don't women have to remember to put it up??

  8. Mostly we women prefer the seat down because it looks neater that way, and even more neat if the lid is also down. For myself I don't care so much as long as the seat is clean and dry when I have to touch it.

  9. Yes, all good comments, but does anyone put the lid down before they flush to contain all the particulate matter floating around the otherwise visually inspected clean out house?

    Or do you watch to make sure you're not the one leaving the ship sailing for others to bombard with such accuracy that could only be described as 'needle in a heystack' technique?

  10. We're using the toilet now? What happened to the sink?

  11. Tom - That's always been my contention. Not that I've ever had to actually fight with anyone on this, but I'm always surprised when the argument does come up because it seems like the fair thing for a man putting the seat down after they pee would be for a woman to lift it when she is finished also. Politeness, common courtesy, respect, etc. Or we could just continue adjusting to our respective needs beforehand. I find it particularly fascinating because it's sort of like a microcosmic version of the equality conundrum right there; if we could solve this problem then everything else pertaining to equality for men and women would just fall into place.
    But ah, ahem. Thanks for your comment, Tom. Please return and I promise less examination of your answers from now on.
    *switches off mic, fades house lights, puts cat out*

    River - I disagree. I think it looks neater with the lid up! (Please see above comment for eventual futility of ensuing debate). I reckon the only answer is a small hydrolic actuator that returns the seat to a perfect 45 degree angle after each flush, necessitating pre-pee activity by both sexes for both activities.

    Shippy - I leave it open. Fuck it. Let the poo fly. That's what my immune system is for. As for the other option, I reckon there's a needle in your haystack ...

    Anon - Uh ... shovel?

    Adam - It got clogged.

  12. GAH! The toilet seat only needs to be down because you lot have lousy aim! Stick a ping pong ball in there and try to shoot that! THEN you can leave the toilet seat down. Then again, if we have a youngling party here, only the girls use the toilet. The men are more shall we say - enterprising and fertilise my citrus trees!

  13. PS we can wee and poo at the same time to . . ner ner!


An explanation of The Joy Division Litmus Test

Although it may now be lost in the mysts of thyme, the poll below is still relevant to this blog. In the winter of 2008, Mele and I went to live in Queensland. In order to survive, I bluffed my way into a job at a Coffee Club.
It was quite a reasonable place to work: the hours were regular, the staff were quite nice, it wasn't particularly taxing on my brain.
There were a few downsides: In the six weeks or so that I worked there, there was about a 90% staff turnover (contributed to by my leaving). This wasn't seen as a result of the low pay, the laughability of staff prices or the practice of not distributing tips to staff, rather it was blamed on the lack of work ethic among Bribie Island's youth.
However, one of the stranger aspects of the cultural isolation that touched our lives during our time "up there" was the fact that nobody at my work had heard of the band Joy Division.
The full explanation is available here.
But please, interact a little further and vote in my ongoing poll. The results are slowly mounting up, proving one thing: people read this blog are more well-informed about Joy Division than anyone who works at the Coffee Club on Bribie Island.

Have you heard of the band Joy Division?

Chinese food, not Chinese Internet!

Champions of Guess The Header

  • What is Guess The Header about? Let’s ask regular “Writing” reader, Shippy: "Anyway, after Franzy's stunning September, and having a crack at 'Guess The Header' for the first time - without truly knowing what I was doing mind you - I think I finally understand what 'GTH' is all about. At first I thought you needed to actually know what it was. Don't get me wrong — if you know what it is, it may help you. I now realise that it's more Franzy's way of invoking thought around an image or, more often than not, part of an image. If you dissect slightly the GTH explanatory sentence at the bottom of his blog you come up with this: “The photo is always taken by me and always connects in some way to the topic of the blog entry it heads up.” When the header is put up, the blog below it will in some obscure way have something to do with it. “Interesting comments are judged and scored arbitrarily and the process is open to corruption and bribery with all correspondence being entered into after the fact and on into eternity, ad infinitum amen.” Franzy judges it, but it's not always the GTH that describes the place perfectly that gets it. “The frequent commenters, the wits, the wags and the outright smartarses who, each entry, engage to both guess the origin and relevance of the strip of photo at the top (or “head”) of each new blog and also who leave what I deem the most interesting comment.” It generally helps if you're a complete smartarse and can twist things to mean whatever you feel they should mean - exactly the way Franzy would like things to be twisted." - Shippy Blogger and GTH point scorer.
  • Nai - 1
  • Lion Kinsman - 2
  • Will - 2
  • Brocky - 2
  • Andy Pants - 2
  • The 327th Male - 3
  • Mad Cat Lady - 3
  • Miles McClagen - 4
  • Myninjacockle - 4
  • Asheligh - 5
  • Neil - 5
  • Third Cat - 5
  • Adam Y - 6
  • Squib - 6
  • Mele - 6
  • Moifey - 7
  • Jono - 8
  • The Other, other Sam - 14
  • Kath Lockett - 15
  • Shippy - 19
  • River - 32