Tuesday, September 16, 2008

I know the
Domino's Cheaper Tuesday commercial is supposed to make me want to buy shithouse pizzas but for some reason it sends me straight to Google.


  1. In my town in southern Ontario Canada we have ten pizza places all with cheap cheesey deals. I make a salad from my garden.

  2. In my town in northern imaginary, no-one cares about pizza. We're all too busy making the hot sex with cheerleaders.

  3. Damn Cockle - sounds good, can I catch the imaginary bus to get there? Does it leave from stop imaginary?

    Can't beat the Shippy-Lez special at Pedros Port Road. BBQ Beef Base Pizza + Bacon + Chicken + Chilli powder - Pineapple (Damn Fruit - shouldn't belong on a pizza when it's that sweet).

  4. Paul c - I had stir fry from left over vegies in the fridge. It actually tasted better when that ad came on again.

    Ninj - I know, and that's what's ever so slightly worrying about this ad. We're Australians, but how prevalent is cheerleading in our culture, except as a sticky little spill-over from the American tradition on cheerleading which sees us with few actual cheerleaders and only the dried residue of cheerleading = pornography. Surely the ad directors knew this, or were at least strongly aware of the twisted cultural significance cheerleading has in Australia. Especially among the kind of demographic (young, male, single, not too hot on cooking) Domino's markets to.

    Shippy - I'll sell you an imaginary ticket, just email me your credit card details and I'll do the rest ...

    And what the fuck is a "beef base"?!?

  5. I make my own pizzas. Not the base, I buy frozen pre-made, but add all my own toppings. No meat, but definitely pineapple. Always pineapple. I just love cheesy pineapple. Heck, I've even been known to make toasted cheese and pineapple sandwiches.

  6. Sapphire sees that ad and says - every single time (a habit she's picked up from me, alas, whenever I see David Koch or Peter Hellier's head on the box) - "Who cares if Dominoes pizzas are half price when they will still taste awful." Wise girl, that one.

    Also have a mate who was the Dancing Domino (ie poor uni student in padded costume) who did his best to attract more custom to the establishment on Glynburn Road. To this day, he shudders if anyone asks if he actually ate their pizzas.

  7. Why are the cheerleaders amateur? Wouldn't you rather have a certain level of competence? Does that mean they can't form a pyramid, but they'll give it a go?

    My Dominos doesn't have cheerleaders, it has a kid in a hat who calls everyone chief...I'd like to smack his head with his garlic bread...

    Poetry! Geez I'm good!

  8. BBQ Beef is the base pizza, then I add some extra things.

  9. River, oh, River - Even living in Queenslad has not turned me towards the pineapple.

    Kath - Ya. $4.90 is a pretty expensive stomach cramp.

    Miles - The whole point of this sentence was to indicate the cultural incongruity of having cheerleaders advertising an Australian product. I believe that the concept of cheerleaders in Australia has a stronger connection to their pornographic distortion than the wholesome ra-ra-ra yayyy-team history which they carry in American culture. I think the advertisers must be aware of this. I think the advertisers are using pornography to sell pizza.
    However, it was very late when I wrote the sentence and it wasn't one of my best. It was way way down there.
    Furthering my sentence blooperness is the fact that the particular cheerleaders on the commercial would have been paid for appearing in it and hence: professionals.

    Shippy - I know, buddy, I know.


An explanation of The Joy Division Litmus Test

Although it may now be lost in the mysts of thyme, the poll below is still relevant to this blog. In the winter of 2008, Mele and I went to live in Queensland. In order to survive, I bluffed my way into a job at a Coffee Club.
It was quite a reasonable place to work: the hours were regular, the staff were quite nice, it wasn't particularly taxing on my brain.
There were a few downsides: In the six weeks or so that I worked there, there was about a 90% staff turnover (contributed to by my leaving). This wasn't seen as a result of the low pay, the laughability of staff prices or the practice of not distributing tips to staff, rather it was blamed on the lack of work ethic among Bribie Island's youth.
However, one of the stranger aspects of the cultural isolation that touched our lives during our time "up there" was the fact that nobody at my work had heard of the band Joy Division.
The full explanation is available here.
But please, interact a little further and vote in my ongoing poll. The results are slowly mounting up, proving one thing: people read this blog are more well-informed about Joy Division than anyone who works at the Coffee Club on Bribie Island.

Have you heard of the band Joy Division?

Chinese food, not Chinese Internet!

Champions of Guess The Header

  • What is Guess The Header about? Let’s ask regular “Writing” reader, Shippy: "Anyway, after Franzy's stunning September, and having a crack at 'Guess The Header' for the first time - without truly knowing what I was doing mind you - I think I finally understand what 'GTH' is all about. At first I thought you needed to actually know what it was. Don't get me wrong — if you know what it is, it may help you. I now realise that it's more Franzy's way of invoking thought around an image or, more often than not, part of an image. If you dissect slightly the GTH explanatory sentence at the bottom of his blog you come up with this: “The photo is always taken by me and always connects in some way to the topic of the blog entry it heads up.” When the header is put up, the blog below it will in some obscure way have something to do with it. “Interesting comments are judged and scored arbitrarily and the process is open to corruption and bribery with all correspondence being entered into after the fact and on into eternity, ad infinitum amen.” Franzy judges it, but it's not always the GTH that describes the place perfectly that gets it. “The frequent commenters, the wits, the wags and the outright smartarses who, each entry, engage to both guess the origin and relevance of the strip of photo at the top (or “head”) of each new blog and also who leave what I deem the most interesting comment.” It generally helps if you're a complete smartarse and can twist things to mean whatever you feel they should mean - exactly the way Franzy would like things to be twisted." - Shippy Blogger and GTH point scorer.
  • Nai - 1
  • Lion Kinsman - 2
  • Will - 2
  • Brocky - 2
  • Andy Pants - 2
  • The 327th Male - 3
  • Mad Cat Lady - 3
  • Miles McClagen - 4
  • Myninjacockle - 4
  • Asheligh - 5
  • Neil - 5
  • Third Cat - 5
  • Adam Y - 6
  • Squib - 6
  • Mele - 6
  • Moifey - 7
  • Jono - 8
  • The Other, other Sam - 14
  • Kath Lockett - 15
  • Shippy - 19
  • River - 32