Thursday, September 25, 2008


  1. OH MY GOD. I honestly truly just saw the photo and thought, 'that looks like a reclining vagina' before scrolling down to read your sentence.

    How the barnacles got there is a mystery and surely one for medical science and NOT a public playground?

  2. A pineapple with a vagina for fruit lovers

  3. Kath -
    Oh but it becomes so much more wonderful ...

    Anon - Yeah, just pop it into the microwave for about ten to fifteen seconds ...

  4. What is that artistic piece supposed to be? Tell the truth now.......

  5. Bribie Island vs. Bill Henson.

    Isn't some art meant to be controversial? This art is controversial due to it's position. Look at the publicity the artist received, much more than a carved shell would give you.

    Franzy, your single sentences have started to turn towards a single subject in some way - good, bad, or controversial..?

  6. River - Just visit the news story on my previous comment. I didn't make it up, honestly. They actually removed the naked lady statue where you could basically see a couple of lines indicating labia majora and that was it: naked lady. But they left this other MASSIVE DISEMBODIED VAGINA as though it were just a harmless shell and not a MASSIVE DISEMBODIED VAGINA.

    Shippy - I just enjoy the bit that the controversial part was the tiny vagina in context on a woman not the MASSIVE DISEMBODIED VAGINA right next to her.
    Single subject? Isn't that the point of a single sentence?

  7. It looks like a shell to me. It REALLY truly looks like a shell to me!!

  8. Paging Dr Freud ... please bring your bucket, spade and cigars to the seaside please ... paging Dr Freud ...

  9. Isn't ANYBODY going to make a giant clam joke??

  10. toos; I thought clam straight away, then the "barnacles" looked like pineapples and I wasn't sure anymore......

  11. see, I think that beats the lettuce sentence no question

  12. TooS and Shippy - This is more an anime clam anyway. Where else would you see a cephalopod able to consume humans being ridden by tiny, mad pubescent female in a short skirt?

    River - Whatever it is, it would make a great pizza topping!

    Third Cat - Hmph. I disagree. This one relies too heavily upon the photo for its impact, whereas your little beauty was entirely self-contained. A great beginning for a novel, perhaps?


An explanation of The Joy Division Litmus Test

Although it may now be lost in the mysts of thyme, the poll below is still relevant to this blog. In the winter of 2008, Mele and I went to live in Queensland. In order to survive, I bluffed my way into a job at a Coffee Club.
It was quite a reasonable place to work: the hours were regular, the staff were quite nice, it wasn't particularly taxing on my brain.
There were a few downsides: In the six weeks or so that I worked there, there was about a 90% staff turnover (contributed to by my leaving). This wasn't seen as a result of the low pay, the laughability of staff prices or the practice of not distributing tips to staff, rather it was blamed on the lack of work ethic among Bribie Island's youth.
However, one of the stranger aspects of the cultural isolation that touched our lives during our time "up there" was the fact that nobody at my work had heard of the band Joy Division.
The full explanation is available here.
But please, interact a little further and vote in my ongoing poll. The results are slowly mounting up, proving one thing: people read this blog are more well-informed about Joy Division than anyone who works at the Coffee Club on Bribie Island.

Have you heard of the band Joy Division?

Chinese food, not Chinese Internet!

Champions of Guess The Header

  • What is Guess The Header about? Let’s ask regular “Writing” reader, Shippy: "Anyway, after Franzy's stunning September, and having a crack at 'Guess The Header' for the first time - without truly knowing what I was doing mind you - I think I finally understand what 'GTH' is all about. At first I thought you needed to actually know what it was. Don't get me wrong — if you know what it is, it may help you. I now realise that it's more Franzy's way of invoking thought around an image or, more often than not, part of an image. If you dissect slightly the GTH explanatory sentence at the bottom of his blog you come up with this: “The photo is always taken by me and always connects in some way to the topic of the blog entry it heads up.” When the header is put up, the blog below it will in some obscure way have something to do with it. “Interesting comments are judged and scored arbitrarily and the process is open to corruption and bribery with all correspondence being entered into after the fact and on into eternity, ad infinitum amen.” Franzy judges it, but it's not always the GTH that describes the place perfectly that gets it. “The frequent commenters, the wits, the wags and the outright smartarses who, each entry, engage to both guess the origin and relevance of the strip of photo at the top (or “head”) of each new blog and also who leave what I deem the most interesting comment.” It generally helps if you're a complete smartarse and can twist things to mean whatever you feel they should mean - exactly the way Franzy would like things to be twisted." - Shippy Blogger and GTH point scorer.
  • Nai - 1
  • Lion Kinsman - 2
  • Will - 2
  • Brocky - 2
  • Andy Pants - 2
  • The 327th Male - 3
  • Mad Cat Lady - 3
  • Miles McClagen - 4
  • Myninjacockle - 4
  • Asheligh - 5
  • Neil - 5
  • Third Cat - 5
  • Adam Y - 6
  • Squib - 6
  • Mele - 6
  • Moifey - 7
  • Jono - 8
  • The Other, other Sam - 14
  • Kath Lockett - 15
  • Shippy - 19
  • River - 32