... you're reviewing a book, and you get to the bit where normally, you would just declare the whole thing tedious and toss it to one side. But, because you're reviewing it for cash and publication, you must continue to grate your eyeballs upon each and every tedious page. You must resist the urge to accidentally drop it in the fire. You must reach the final sentence and only then will you be able to state, with utmost authority, that this is a book will waste hours of precious lives that could be better spent picking the gunge from the corner of toenails.
EH.
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An explanation of The Joy Division Litmus Test
Although it may now be lost in the mysts of thyme, the poll below is still relevant to this blog. In the winter of 2008, Mele and I went to live in Queensland. In order to survive, I bluffed my way into a job at a Coffee Club.
It was quite a reasonable place to work: the hours were regular, the staff were quite nice, it wasn't particularly taxing on my brain.
There were a few downsides: In the six weeks or so that I worked there, there was about a 90% staff turnover (contributed to by my leaving). This wasn't seen as a result of the low pay, the laughability of staff prices or the practice of not distributing tips to staff, rather it was blamed on the lack of work ethic among Bribie Island's youth.
However, one of the stranger aspects of the cultural isolation that touched our lives during our time "up there" was the fact that nobody at my work had heard of the band Joy Division.
The full explanation is available here.
But please, interact a little further and vote in my ongoing poll. The results are slowly mounting up, proving one thing: people read this blog are more well-informed about Joy Division than anyone who works at the Coffee Club on Bribie Island.
It was quite a reasonable place to work: the hours were regular, the staff were quite nice, it wasn't particularly taxing on my brain.
There were a few downsides: In the six weeks or so that I worked there, there was about a 90% staff turnover (contributed to by my leaving). This wasn't seen as a result of the low pay, the laughability of staff prices or the practice of not distributing tips to staff, rather it was blamed on the lack of work ethic among Bribie Island's youth.
However, one of the stranger aspects of the cultural isolation that touched our lives during our time "up there" was the fact that nobody at my work had heard of the band Joy Division.
The full explanation is available here.
But please, interact a little further and vote in my ongoing poll. The results are slowly mounting up, proving one thing: people read this blog are more well-informed about Joy Division than anyone who works at the Coffee Club on Bribie Island.
Still on the first page then?
ReplyDeleteHell, I used to feel like that when reviewing books for free, knowing the only 'payment' was the cruddy book itself. Some did help raise my computer monitor a bit higher up on my desk though and, if recall correctly, you have a fire in your house, so some kindling might come in handy.
ReplyDeleteThis is why I don't do reviews. I've had a few emails asking if I'd like to review books, but if the book is hopelessly boring or tediously filled with unnecessary details I wouldn't be reading to the very last page, so a proper review would be impossible.
ReplyDeleteOh dear.
ReplyDeleteI get the same sometimes when asked to review papers, and they are only about 6-8 pages. The hardest part is when I can't actually understand what they are trying to say.
I feel rude sending them back covered with red pen, especially since it is not anonymous, but I guess that's the point of the review process.
Dan - No - finished, at last! But still, there was a lot of filler to wade through.
ReplyDeleteKath - FREE! Thou art indeed noble. The other sad bit is that I can't even bring myself to throw the shit ones away.
River - You know, you've got a bloody good point there. I bet you're not spending a few hours this weekend reviewing a half-baked novel when you could be doing other things.
Looki - Damn straight. If you don't tell them their fly's down, more people are just going to see the brown undies of mediocrity.