Sunday, January 8, 2012

Reasons smart phones suck and my old flip phone still rules

#468: You are just reading this sentence, instead of contemplating a high-definition image of Charlie's first successful number two. Happy New Year!

Step 1: "What's your number?"
Step 2: "And ... that's saved in my phone."
Step 3: "Sure, I'll wait five minutes while you do the same thing. And then make me pose for a photo which I will change later to a shot of me gurning anyway."

#34: What bill?


  1. Smart phone - not so smart.

    I like my old flip phone too. It makes and takes calls and messages, the occasional photo, that's all I need.

  2. Totally, if they're so smart, why do people look so dopey when they use them?
    Honestly, sometimes it's like watching a mime read a miniature book.

  3. I'm impressed ,Thanks for the tips…thanks for this informative post.
    screen protector

  4. Smart phones are ridiculous as phones. They are slow, clumsy, annoying, and waste many minutes a day resulting in lost hours a month pushing extra buttons and correcting the mistakes they often make. Most people do not really need them and pay their hard earned money to play with them and pretend they are hip. That is stupid. Marketing crap has become the 'new thing' and only the foolish fall for it. A phone is a phone, not a computer, just like toilet paper has a purpose and should not double as a toothbrush.

  5. Most people like smartphones because they need more then just phones, such as ability to check the weather or send an email on the fly,

    1. This can go on a distant blog when there is no longer a difference between 'smartphone' and 'any other type of phone'.

  6. Longer to find the person I want to call. Press unwanted buttons (icons) frequently by mistake; even during calls (causing calls to end prematurely; especially important calls). Clumsy to use as a phone. Flip phone is more user friendly for calling.


An explanation of The Joy Division Litmus Test

Although it may now be lost in the mysts of thyme, the poll below is still relevant to this blog. In the winter of 2008, Mele and I went to live in Queensland. In order to survive, I bluffed my way into a job at a Coffee Club.
It was quite a reasonable place to work: the hours were regular, the staff were quite nice, it wasn't particularly taxing on my brain.
There were a few downsides: In the six weeks or so that I worked there, there was about a 90% staff turnover (contributed to by my leaving). This wasn't seen as a result of the low pay, the laughability of staff prices or the practice of not distributing tips to staff, rather it was blamed on the lack of work ethic among Bribie Island's youth.
However, one of the stranger aspects of the cultural isolation that touched our lives during our time "up there" was the fact that nobody at my work had heard of the band Joy Division.
The full explanation is available here.
But please, interact a little further and vote in my ongoing poll. The results are slowly mounting up, proving one thing: people read this blog are more well-informed about Joy Division than anyone who works at the Coffee Club on Bribie Island.

Have you heard of the band Joy Division?

Chinese food, not Chinese Internet!

Champions of Guess The Header

  • What is Guess The Header about? Let’s ask regular “Writing” reader, Shippy: "Anyway, after Franzy's stunning September, and having a crack at 'Guess The Header' for the first time - without truly knowing what I was doing mind you - I think I finally understand what 'GTH' is all about. At first I thought you needed to actually know what it was. Don't get me wrong — if you know what it is, it may help you. I now realise that it's more Franzy's way of invoking thought around an image or, more often than not, part of an image. If you dissect slightly the GTH explanatory sentence at the bottom of his blog you come up with this: “The photo is always taken by me and always connects in some way to the topic of the blog entry it heads up.” When the header is put up, the blog below it will in some obscure way have something to do with it. “Interesting comments are judged and scored arbitrarily and the process is open to corruption and bribery with all correspondence being entered into after the fact and on into eternity, ad infinitum amen.” Franzy judges it, but it's not always the GTH that describes the place perfectly that gets it. “The frequent commenters, the wits, the wags and the outright smartarses who, each entry, engage to both guess the origin and relevance of the strip of photo at the top (or “head”) of each new blog and also who leave what I deem the most interesting comment.” It generally helps if you're a complete smartarse and can twist things to mean whatever you feel they should mean - exactly the way Franzy would like things to be twisted." - Shippy Blogger and GTH point scorer.
  • Nai - 1
  • Lion Kinsman - 2
  • Will - 2
  • Brocky - 2
  • Andy Pants - 2
  • The 327th Male - 3
  • Mad Cat Lady - 3
  • Miles McClagen - 4
  • Myninjacockle - 4
  • Asheligh - 5
  • Neil - 5
  • Third Cat - 5
  • Adam Y - 6
  • Squib - 6
  • Mele - 6
  • Moifey - 7
  • Jono - 8
  • The Other, other Sam - 14
  • Kath Lockett - 15
  • Shippy - 19
  • River - 32