Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Anybody here like cats? Fuck YOU!!! Ha!

Most situational comedians I've ever seen:

Hey, you know that thing that we all do every day? You know how it seems quite trivial, right? But let me tell you, that I've just noticed that quite a few people do it. What's with that? Isn't that annoying? There's also a funny noise and face associated with it that I'll demonstrate now.

And have you noticed how children sometimes behave in ways that aren't the same as how adults do? But sometimes they do? I'd like to suggest an overreaction to their behaviour because a non-politically correct reaction to children is quite unusual in a public forum.

Also, I have a crazy friend who's not here tonight because they're doing something crazy. It's actually related in a whimsical way to that first trivial thing I mentioned? Remember that thing? Crazy, right?

Does anyone here take part in a popular but not universal activity? I can tell you that I have a surprisingly incongruous reaction to it!

I watch TV. I've certainly seen some shows and advertisements on TV that are worthy of imitation and comment and I will do that now. I even have an idea for my own version of a popular show on TV at the moment which could be construed as ridiculous. I’ve learned three chords on a guitar and I’ll play the slightly altered version of the theme song for you now.

Heckling, eh? I’ve got a number of rehearsed responses that I’ve practised enough to sound spontaneous, so you are just going to get me slightly more laughs than if you’d said nothing. So there.

Anyway, I have time for one more anecdote which I will relate to that trivial thing I mentioned at the beginning of the show so that I can recycle some of the laughter I got then, without having to think of another pithy insight into the audience’s everyday lives.

Please tell any journalists with cameras how funny and cute you thought I was.


  1. Wow. Eight paragraphs wothout saying much of anything. Congratulations. You're a politician.

  2. Geez Franzy - why not sell this as a template?

  3. I'm thinking of just working it into an actual comedy routine at the Fringe next year and calling it 'Zany Title for a Comedy Show, Normal Name for a Group of Household Items!'

    Do you think I could get away with this for an hour?

  4. Mate, you should go watch Hammo sometime, it's actually fairly intellectual comedy. Well, when the Fringe staff don't put him in crappy areas.

    But I do feel you could probably do stand up, provided you followed, as Kath put's it, Franzy's Template to Stand Up for Dummies. I'm sure if you started to lose out with the crowd, some pieces about Charles will save you.

  5. I've seen Will Anderson too!


An explanation of The Joy Division Litmus Test

Although it may now be lost in the mysts of thyme, the poll below is still relevant to this blog. In the winter of 2008, Mele and I went to live in Queensland. In order to survive, I bluffed my way into a job at a Coffee Club.
It was quite a reasonable place to work: the hours were regular, the staff were quite nice, it wasn't particularly taxing on my brain.
There were a few downsides: In the six weeks or so that I worked there, there was about a 90% staff turnover (contributed to by my leaving). This wasn't seen as a result of the low pay, the laughability of staff prices or the practice of not distributing tips to staff, rather it was blamed on the lack of work ethic among Bribie Island's youth.
However, one of the stranger aspects of the cultural isolation that touched our lives during our time "up there" was the fact that nobody at my work had heard of the band Joy Division.
The full explanation is available here.
But please, interact a little further and vote in my ongoing poll. The results are slowly mounting up, proving one thing: people read this blog are more well-informed about Joy Division than anyone who works at the Coffee Club on Bribie Island.

Have you heard of the band Joy Division?

Chinese food, not Chinese Internet!

Champions of Guess The Header

  • What is Guess The Header about? Let’s ask regular “Writing” reader, Shippy: "Anyway, after Franzy's stunning September, and having a crack at 'Guess The Header' for the first time - without truly knowing what I was doing mind you - I think I finally understand what 'GTH' is all about. At first I thought you needed to actually know what it was. Don't get me wrong — if you know what it is, it may help you. I now realise that it's more Franzy's way of invoking thought around an image or, more often than not, part of an image. If you dissect slightly the GTH explanatory sentence at the bottom of his blog you come up with this: “The photo is always taken by me and always connects in some way to the topic of the blog entry it heads up.” When the header is put up, the blog below it will in some obscure way have something to do with it. “Interesting comments are judged and scored arbitrarily and the process is open to corruption and bribery with all correspondence being entered into after the fact and on into eternity, ad infinitum amen.” Franzy judges it, but it's not always the GTH that describes the place perfectly that gets it. “The frequent commenters, the wits, the wags and the outright smartarses who, each entry, engage to both guess the origin and relevance of the strip of photo at the top (or “head”) of each new blog and also who leave what I deem the most interesting comment.” It generally helps if you're a complete smartarse and can twist things to mean whatever you feel they should mean - exactly the way Franzy would like things to be twisted." - Shippy Blogger and GTH point scorer.
  • Nai - 1
  • Lion Kinsman - 2
  • Will - 2
  • Brocky - 2
  • Andy Pants - 2
  • The 327th Male - 3
  • Mad Cat Lady - 3
  • Miles McClagen - 4
  • Myninjacockle - 4
  • Asheligh - 5
  • Neil - 5
  • Third Cat - 5
  • Adam Y - 6
  • Squib - 6
  • Mele - 6
  • Moifey - 7
  • Jono - 8
  • The Other, other Sam - 14
  • Kath Lockett - 15
  • Shippy - 19
  • River - 32