Which brings me to Franzy's blogging rule No. 39: You know you're scraping when you blog about television. I've always maintained that this blog wouldn't be a diary or a scrap book or a bitch-about-work journal. It's been all three over the years and there's been ups and downs, periods of rain and drought. Lately, however, I am (like I imagine the much-missed, but always just around the corner Ninjacockle) finding myself not only time-poor, but brain-poor as well. We only have so much luv to guv, as our trans-Tasman neighbours would put it (ut). So, to turn this briefly into a journal: I work 9 to 5. I get home. I do family stuff. I put the boy to bed. Three nights a working week, I sit down in front of the computer and try to read and write PhD stuff. It's tough. Lots of the time I don't make it. Saying 'No' to close friends who just want to come over for dinner and a baby-viewing is much, much harder than saying 'Nah, tomorrow night' to studying from 8pm until 10pm or whenever the words begin to go double on the screen.
I am writing this at 11pm. Screw what time-posted thing says. That's Yankee time. 11pm it is. And the worst bit about that is that I'm trying to line myself up with the little picture in my head of the masterful genius writer, slaving away while the rest of the world (time zone) withers and slumbers. But the fact is that my brain is a little tired. I'm not cracking code for living, but I'm not digging ditches, either. My brain's default setting after about 8pm is: "Whiskey/TV". Turning that into "PhD then flighty, creative book ideas" requires a little more flick of the switch. Even churning out a blog entry which doesn't rely on my son's radiant beauty for value is usually beyond me.
You'll notice in the graphic to my left, that my main activities, work and sleep, are the only ones I can prove that I do on a regular basis.Sleep because I am still sane(ish)(or am I?)(Who said that?)(etc) and work because I'm able to pay for this internet and the food that keeps me from falling over.
The only non-accounted-for activity is 'Time I should spend being creative'. I say this because it's normally time that ends up being TV or Brainless Internet surfing.
But tonight, it's blogging.
Where the hell did all this energy come from?
I yam goen to bed
Firstly, Franzy, stop kicking yourself. Your plate is full. Over-flowing, in fact. That you update your blog at all is an achievement.
ReplyDeleteSecondly, I love reading your blog. I wouldn't be a regular visitor (or follower, which lets me know when you update) if I didn't like the way you think and want to know more about what makes you tick. If that's Mele, Charlie, work and whiskey - fine.
Thirdly, Working 9-5 is a myth; it's more like 6am to 9pm when you factor in getting ready, taking Charlie to childcare, commuting to work, doing the actual work, commuting back home, doing the dinner/baby bath/family/housework thing.
Fourthly, I don't work 9-5. I work probably 10 to 3.30pm (to incorporate a necessary GoneChocco life-and-waist-saving 8km run and the after-school pick up) and my blog is part of my bread and butter. Not in money terms perhaps, but to keep my creative mind alive. It's not always successful but it's the 'fun' I need when the drier part of my paid writing work often results in delays as government/big business/education media officers need to approve/check/seek out the relevant person for me to interview/research/quote/feature.
Fifthly, my 'flighty creative book idea' - supposedly meant to flow so easily due to my generously slack working hours, has eluded me. Why? Because I love cuddling the rabbit during my self-proclaimed morning tea time; I love meeting Sapphire at the school gate and hanging out with her; I love taking Milly on a combined walk and Litter Ninja drive in the early evening; I love eating dinner with my family and cuddling up to LC on the sofa afterwards and love catching up with friends on the weekends.
The key - I'm ever-so-slowly finding, is to not feel guilty about it, but be just grateful that there's so many wonderful distractions.
Ha! Maybe this is why I resist the temptation to blog - too much complaining to do!
ReplyDeleteActually, my 'work' is thankfully 9-5. No homework, no marking, no staying back late. 5pm, I'm Elvis. All that other stuff isn't work, it's family, house, home. And I probably should count commuting as relaxing because I'm sitting there in my comfy car on the same road, listening to the radio and serving no one else's interests but me own.
But YOU!
Get writing. 9am to 10am. Call it the Golden Hour. Sit in the chair. Don't move. Type words. From 9:00 sharp. Stop at 10am. Mid-sentence if need be. If it helps, your first words will be:
"Kath looked back on the last five years and added up the dozens of 9am to 10am writing shifts that she never used. She leafed through the two-hundred or so pages of pristine A4 which didn't need correcting because they had nothing written on them. She made a cup of coffee and refreshed The Age to see if anything was happening. Then she checked her email."
Then print it out, glue it to a little card and draw scary monsters and ghosts on the card. That will make you write the book.
Ha ha, I like what both of you said.
ReplyDeleteHome and family certainly do take up a significant amount of time, no explanations re less blogging are necessary.
How long does it take to get that PhD? I don't know these things.
Think of a number.
ReplyDeleteDouble it.
Then add two more painful years.
That's how long a PhD takes.