Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Pint of Pale, thanks

Every year, I make a video birthday invitation.
This year is no different.

If you're a regular reader, come along and say hi.

If you're one of the sweet folks who've landed here from you Google searches for "blazer teachers fucking students", "gear shift fuckers" or even "what's wrong with a 100 dollar mattress", then perhaps give it a miss, eh?


GTH - With her double-entendre, Mad Cat Lady takes the point, said the actress to the bishop. The photo was actually taken by me out of a hostel window in Derry on my first night in Ireland. The night before the Orange Marches were due to take place. Being a moronic backpacker, I had no idea of the perfect storm that the significance of date and place would have upon my stay. Garda vans patrolled the old city walls and cops with riot gear and machine guns barracaded every entrance with shipping containers and barbed wire. The riots the next day made the international news and I was forced to call my mother and explain that not all Derry was on fire, just the Catholic bit.


  1. Excellent! You're in my calendar.

    However, that is my last day of work before xmas so my night may be split.

    Or I may just not come.

    Or maybe we will both drink so much whilst also being apart that in the post-drunk haze of the next day it will be as if I was there.

  2. Very cool invite! Yeah I can't make it, living as I do on the other side of Oz, hope you have a great day

    That header image is kind of gross

  3. Brocky - Whatever man. That's cool. No problem.

    Squib - Ooh! We have an early lead in GTH ... It is gross!

  4. GTH: Kind of looks like a sneeze turned evil - at least when it lands in your hand you can hide the fact until you find somewhere to wipe it!?!

  5. Franzy, I'll check out the birthday clip as soon as my fuckin' laptop returns from the *&^%8ing compuclinic tools...Grrrr....

    GTH - Oh please please please tell me it's not a reference to Monica Lewinsky, updated to the noughties and involving your good self and a refusal to take your birthday shirt to the dry cleaners....?

  6. Thanks for the invite, but I won't be able to make it.'ve dribbled something on your shirt....

  7. Shippy - You're building, but, no cricket attendance, no points. Sorry buddy.

    Kath - What an incredibly convoluted way to talk about semen.

    River - You're the closest yet ...

  8. Man, that's so unfair!

    I might just have to drag the old's along for a half hour stint off the long run up! At least while I look like MERV HUGHES!

    Does the match ever get rained out?

  9. GTH It looks like what Kath said but it's on a water mattress

  10. Franzy this is HILARIOUS - I've only just got back my laptop today, so had to endure three weeks of a 1996 desktop without sound.

    This smacks of a lot of effort and all worthwhile, in my opinion. You should enter this into Tropfest 09!

    ...I'd like to come, depending on how this coming Monday goes - I intend on meeting you during that Wordsmith reading thingy you're at. Are you nervous now?


An explanation of The Joy Division Litmus Test

Although it may now be lost in the mysts of thyme, the poll below is still relevant to this blog. In the winter of 2008, Mele and I went to live in Queensland. In order to survive, I bluffed my way into a job at a Coffee Club.
It was quite a reasonable place to work: the hours were regular, the staff were quite nice, it wasn't particularly taxing on my brain.
There were a few downsides: In the six weeks or so that I worked there, there was about a 90% staff turnover (contributed to by my leaving). This wasn't seen as a result of the low pay, the laughability of staff prices or the practice of not distributing tips to staff, rather it was blamed on the lack of work ethic among Bribie Island's youth.
However, one of the stranger aspects of the cultural isolation that touched our lives during our time "up there" was the fact that nobody at my work had heard of the band Joy Division.
The full explanation is available here.
But please, interact a little further and vote in my ongoing poll. The results are slowly mounting up, proving one thing: people read this blog are more well-informed about Joy Division than anyone who works at the Coffee Club on Bribie Island.

Have you heard of the band Joy Division?

Chinese food, not Chinese Internet!

Champions of Guess The Header

  • What is Guess The Header about? Let’s ask regular “Writing” reader, Shippy: "Anyway, after Franzy's stunning September, and having a crack at 'Guess The Header' for the first time - without truly knowing what I was doing mind you - I think I finally understand what 'GTH' is all about. At first I thought you needed to actually know what it was. Don't get me wrong — if you know what it is, it may help you. I now realise that it's more Franzy's way of invoking thought around an image or, more often than not, part of an image. If you dissect slightly the GTH explanatory sentence at the bottom of his blog you come up with this: “The photo is always taken by me and always connects in some way to the topic of the blog entry it heads up.” When the header is put up, the blog below it will in some obscure way have something to do with it. “Interesting comments are judged and scored arbitrarily and the process is open to corruption and bribery with all correspondence being entered into after the fact and on into eternity, ad infinitum amen.” Franzy judges it, but it's not always the GTH that describes the place perfectly that gets it. “The frequent commenters, the wits, the wags and the outright smartarses who, each entry, engage to both guess the origin and relevance of the strip of photo at the top (or “head”) of each new blog and also who leave what I deem the most interesting comment.” It generally helps if you're a complete smartarse and can twist things to mean whatever you feel they should mean - exactly the way Franzy would like things to be twisted." - Shippy Blogger and GTH point scorer.
  • Nai - 1
  • Lion Kinsman - 2
  • Will - 2
  • Brocky - 2
  • Andy Pants - 2
  • The 327th Male - 3
  • Mad Cat Lady - 3
  • Miles McClagen - 4
  • Myninjacockle - 4
  • Asheligh - 5
  • Neil - 5
  • Third Cat - 5
  • Adam Y - 6
  • Squib - 6
  • Mele - 6
  • Moifey - 7
  • Jono - 8
  • The Other, other Sam - 14
  • Kath Lockett - 15
  • Shippy - 19
  • River - 32