- Ate four kinds of animal;
- Fixed a car engine. My car engine. Getting my hands greasy and dirty in the process and saving myself further expense at the mechanics;
- Attended a BBQ;
- Drank beer;
- Prepared and cooked BBQ ribs;
- Destroyed a noxious vine, preventing it from further choking my crops, by climbing a tree, attacking it with a handsaw and pulling the fucker out of there with my bare hands, impressing both son and wife in the process; and
- Took care of my family in many manly ways.
Or, if you're more in tune with the late great George Carlin, say "Who da man? Not you! You da fuckin' honky!"
It should also be noted that I prepared a lovely pumpkin soup, shopped for vegetables and plum sauce, did the vacuuming, changed a bunch of nappies, administered shoulder rubs and tended the bonsai.