tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696126386168661766.post8744985712285415739..comments2023-10-09T07:04:49.539-07:00Comments on Writing: A comment on Audrey's abortion postfranzyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02400212989359954521noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696126386168661766.post-17018920415746398882008-08-20T21:15:00.000-07:002008-08-20T21:15:00.000-07:00I haven't seen 40 Year Old Virgin noBut my 14 year...I haven't seen 40 Year Old Virgin no<BR/><BR/>But my 14 year old said she is 'scarred for life' as the health ed show also featured people 'doing it' and the man with the leech was also holding a petri dish and proudly saying, 'This is my sperm'.<BR/><BR/>It's put her off for life. Thank goodness for that :)squibhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10744419106501810243noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696126386168661766.post-78532135646076436022008-08-20T20:30:00.000-07:002008-08-20T20:30:00.000-07:00Franzy, this is a great post from you and is most ...Franzy, this is a great post from you and is most definitely worth more future articles both as a parallel to Audrey and to reflect the male view.<BR/><BR/>I'll add another view - female yes, but long-married. When we decided we wanted to 'try' for a baby, it was the weirdest change for both of us. Since our teens and becoming sexually active (in our own separate spheres/lives/relationships then), becoming pregnant or making a girl/woman/girlfriend pregnant was our biggest fear.<BR/><BR/>For us, AIDS emerged a bit later, and condoms were seen as being needed for two reasons now, instead of one - no babies, and no dying, to put it shamelessly simply. <BR/><BR/>However when we were open to the idea of seeing if we could make a little person, we were both so confused - it felt so naughty and irresponsible and was literally reversing the behaviour of about fifteen years.<BR/><BR/>When the great news arrived and the wee on three sticks revealed that yes, a tiny little pink prawn was growing inside of me, we still had that fear. Even when it is wanted, dreamed about and the sheer amazement of what the body can do sinks in, it remains terrifying.<BR/><BR/>Abortion, adoption, early-parenthood, single parent hood, planned parent hood, surprise older parent hood. It's all f**king terrifying and there's guilt, confusion and choices being made from all sides. <BR/><BR/>Not sure what my point was now....Kath Locketthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09677312773827236567noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696126386168661766.post-85626162745659279262008-08-20T19:51:00.000-07:002008-08-20T19:51:00.000-07:00Rebekka - Arg. Zing. I sometimes wonder about the ...Rebekka - Arg. Zing. I sometimes wonder about the contextual differences between 'girl' and 'woman' when I tend to call teenagers 'young women' and my mum calls her peers 'the girls'. But obviously I don't wonder that often. Blogworthy?<BR/>I definitely agree that a pregnant female might closer to being a woman than a girl though.<BR/><BR/>Squib - Have you seen 40 Year Old Virgin? Reminds me of that hi-larious scene where the mother is screaming at her daughter not to have sex before college. <BR/>It is an excellent question though, how can you both call having a child at a young age stupid and yet not regret it one tiny bit? And how do you explain that paradox to your kids? Ummmmmm ....franzyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02400212989359954521noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696126386168661766.post-72879359917666659292008-08-20T19:31:00.000-07:002008-08-20T19:31:00.000-07:00I got pregnant age 19 which resulted in me being a...I got pregnant age 19 which resulted in me being a mother at the age of 20. Obviously now I have that child I can't in retrospect say I regret what I did. I do wonder how I was so stupid though<BR/><BR/>That same child who is now 14 was telling me yesterday about the health ed shows they watch at school. 'And then he put a leech on his arm and it sucked blood from his arm like for ten minutes and he said the leech was just like an embryo, it was soooooooooooo gross!'<BR/><BR/>lol<BR/><BR/>Anyway what am I saying...I don't know but certainly well done to those people who are pro-choice and really sometimes it's hard to believe this debate is still going in this day and agesquibhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10744419106501810243noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696126386168661766.post-40055360054253054142008-08-20T19:29:00.000-07:002008-08-20T19:29:00.000-07:00"what I am saying is that not only is contraceptio..."what I am saying is that not only is contraception a man's responsibility if he doesn't want to get a girl pregnant"<BR/><BR/>make that "if he doesn't want to get a <I>woman</I> pregnant" and I completely agree with you.From the lion's mouthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08269847882599124126noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696126386168661766.post-68436750099732578582008-08-20T17:51:00.000-07:002008-08-20T17:51:00.000-07:00Audrey - Ah! Thank you! I totally agree that the d...Audrey - Ah! Thank you! I totally agree that the difference of experiencing an unwanted pregnancy between a man and a woman is vast and not traversable. I don't think your posts telling opinionated men trying to control women's bodies to piss off make it any harder for men to have their own feelings about the pregnancy they've helped create/cause/make. <BR/>I just more wanted to articulate further what a man feels when an unwanted pregnancy shows up and show that if he wants to continue feeling like a real man that it's not all sunshine, roses and getting to tell the woman exactly how she should run her body. There's genuine dread and fear. I'm not comparing it to or rating it alongside a woman's experience of it, but it does exist, and part of that fear is based in his powerlessness in the situation. I'm not saying boo-hoo for new daddy, what I am saying is that not only is contraception a man's responsibility if he doesn't want to get a girl pregnant, but so is further communication about exactly what and how the consequences of what he's doing if he wants to avoid sitting around chewing his nails and wondering if his life's about to change forever with zero he can do about it.<BR/><BR/>And you're right, there probably aren't too many of these guys around, but it's still something interesting to me and worth a little blog now and then.<BR/><BR/>Mars - Yes, I suppose in an ideal situation the decision to abort would take into account the father's feelings on the matter - who wants to raise a child whose father didn't want them, etc etc. But there's a big fat line between the feelings of the father and any old random bloke not involved at all shouting from the steeple or letters page that all pregnant woman HAVE to sacrifice their lives because <I>it's the god honest thing to do.</I> That feller deserves a smackdown.franzyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02400212989359954521noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696126386168661766.post-78240211923881112012008-08-20T11:53:00.000-07:002008-08-20T11:53:00.000-07:00hmmm... i don't necessarily think that abortion is...hmmm... i don't necessarily think that abortion is a woman's choice alone. the opinion of the 'father' can be taken into consideration when making the decision, but i see your point and yes, the decision ultimately does lie with the pregnant woman. though in saying that, i do think the bloke in question is entitled to an opinion... but yeah, it's tricky cause i guess if he has too much of an opinion, he's gonna get a smackdown.Marshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04864826825456177904noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696126386168661766.post-57627156334722214112008-08-20T08:52:00.000-07:002008-08-20T08:52:00.000-07:00Franzy, what a great post. "I'd just like to think...Franzy, what a great post. <BR/><BR/>"I'd just like to think out the man's side of the abortion story, because how are we to be men if we don't talk with and understand women?"<BR/><BR/>I appreciate that a man's position can often seem irrelevant when it comes to abortion and in my own small way I don't make that any easier by writing enraged posts telling them to back off. <BR/><BR/>I do think though that there's a big difference between having reservations/wondering about where you fit in/feeling grief and so forth and getting up on a moral high horse to tell women that not only is their choice wrong but that somehow they are deficient in humanity. <BR/><BR/>Unfortunately it's true that some men are 'trapped' into raising children they didn't want because they don't have a say in the abortion process. But I'd wager that the numbers of men who are told to suck it up because they knew the consequences of sex etc etc etc are still far smaller than the numbers of women whose sexual activity is condemned because they chose abortion.<BR/><BR/>Great post though xoaudreyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07323195108685705355noreply@blogger.com